A Note From Julie...

Aloha all!

Well, needless to say it has been far too long since I have been able to produce my "quarterly" Newsletter! In the interim, I can't thank you enough for your kind and thoughtful inquiries -- hundreds of them at that!

During the past several months I have received a wealth of E-mails from all over the world inquiring on the 1,2,3 SORT IT updates. Many commented: "...I really miss not receiving your regular inspirational words of wisdom"; or "I need your newsletter to get me back on track -- I love your stories!" "Are you still doing "Hot Picks?" "You always have the neatest things!"

I briefly answered as many E-mails as possible explaining a scenario of events that transpired in my life on a personal level. I e-v-e-n meticulously calculated the time I had to devout to writing and relayed to people when the next updates would be uploaded. Yet, lo and behold -- it still never happened!

In retrospect, I vividly see that the Universe had a great deal more in store for me and perseverance was going to be a key word for a while yet. Testing my tenacity all the way, I was challenged to "walk the talk" more than ever and focus on my personal priorities -- on a very frequent basis.

You see, I was not yet complete with several of my own lessons ... "Life" had yet another journey, which I was required to take -- now! A newsletter and other updates would have to wait ...along with many other things I had "the best intentions of completing." It was a humbling experience to watch "my word become totally inharmonious with my best intentions."

This was the same frustrating feeling I have heard over the years from people challenged with dis-organization. I now know, that I was given the opportunity to feel what they go through on a different level -- even if our circumstances were different. I was given an opportunity to get a taste of what people seeking my assistance go through on a profound level.

It's been an "eventful" year to say the least. I believe I am now ready to impart some of what has transpired, and hopefully, in some small way, it will ultimately assist you or someone close to you!

You see, over these past few months I have been able to put myself in my Client's situation more than ever before. I believe my experiences have allowed me to understand each Client or potential Client's unique challenges on a more powerful level. With this new awareness, I am hoping I can assist others in a capacity that I have yet to fully comprehend or envision to date. In my heart, I have become more clear on my personal mission: "to reach others on a deeper, more meaningful and vulnerable level, honoring our differences and acknowledging our similarities -- while supporting people to transcend any challenge -- if they so choose."

My message to all of you willing to read on with an open heart and mind, is to grant yourself permission to acquire...however you deem necessary... the support and encouragement, to love your "different-ness" ...and each others.

I've missed you all!

Aloha Nui Loa!
        Julie

I recently checked the website to make a list of what I would precisely update. I was going through the old Newsletters and realized it had been a y-e-a-r since my last one!! WOW!! Now, I REALLY understood why I was flooded with E-mails inquiring on the whereabouts of the latest Newsletter!!

Sooooo, let me bring you back in time and explain what caused the initial break in my communications.

September '98, I returned home from my annual volunteer work for the Maui Writers Conference and Retreat (MWC). It's a phenomenal event for all you authors out there ...or those contemplating this demanding feat. Trust me -- if you can dream it -- you CAN achieve it, and the MWC is a world class event that attests to the strong desire and perseverance for those of you with something you desperately want to write and share!

(Ooops, I digress). Anyway, last year, when I returned from my annual volunteer work -- the Universal tests began. I found a note from my current landlord stating that he was not intending to renew our lease. He was the new owner of the farm, during what had become, our last year there. This really took us by surprise, because we had lived on the property for 6 wonderful years.

In the midst of the "shock" of having to move our home and 3 businesses after 6 years, we kept doing our best to look on the bright side. "After all, life was definitely "different" under the reign of the new landlord. All of this just had to work out for the better," we kept telling ourselves.

So, we set off to find another rent. The timing became a real challenge. School had already started and there were far less choices. We definitely wanted to stay in the town we had grown to love over the last 6 years -- not to mention it was where our businesses were established. Even if we sent out a slew of postcards with a phone number change -- it would probably get buried on people's desk tops! (I know this from experience of working with all my Client's). We couldn't count on the "coconut wireless" to move fast enough and surely didn't want people to think we had left the island!

Although we had several months advance notice, it became a real challenge to find a rent large enough for our businesses and personal needs...as well as the needs of our "kids" .... 6 chickens....a rooster...2 large dogs ...a cat and about 450 outdoor plants!

To make a long story short, our "rental search" turned into a "home buying hunt" through a series of very interesting, "coincidences." December '98 we put an offer in on a home. As we awaited the "counter-offer" another potential buyer came to bat and surpassed our bid. Seemed like a pretty shaky deal from the get-go, so we held on for the full ride, knowing we had first right of refusal. And hold on we did -- right to the very end! (translation: the day the other party was scheduled to close!) Many people involved thought the other party would bail out and we wanted to be right there if it happened!

So after losing the home of our dreams, we picked ourselves up...brushed ourselves off and pursued our rental/home hunt once again.

Whoa! Wait a sec! I skipped an important part here! I will also admit that we did this only after feeling totally crushed and feeling we would never find a place of our own! After all "nothing would be as good as that find." Sound familiar? Funny, how doom and gloom can surface so rapidly, whether it's a new place to live, a job of our dreams, a potential mate ...whatever!

Hmmmmm, do you see now why it's soooooo important to create "positive self-talk?" Why it's so important to "take time for yourself" -- in order to find the peace within?

With the space and quiet required to "ground", we can get a clearer picture of our vision: who we are, where we are going, what we want to accomplish, and the attitude that is needed through it all! We ALL are susceptible to falling down at times. It can happen to anyone when you least expect it!

You see, even though I knew better ...I succumbed to the most negative thoughts you could think of for about 3 F-U-L-L days! After getting in touch with what was really going on, I was able to move forward once again to find a new place to live. The clock was now seriously ticking. We were suppose to be out of our place in less than a week! Our landlord had become the epitome of the movie "Scrooge" -- showing up on our doorstep 2 days before Christmas threatening legal action. An action rather ridiculous, seeing as we had 35 days left on our lease. By then we had just about enough of him and desperately wanted out!

The weekend we didn't get the "home of our dreams", we knew we had to do something -- quick. We made a few more phone calls and a "possibility" surfaced. We could get a rent, yet it would be for only 3 months. The place was small, so 75% of our "stuff" would need to go in storage. The yard was too small for the dogs, yet it was a yard of sorts away from people and traffic and they would be safe at least. A friend who owned a farm, took our coup of chickens and rooster for the interim. We were running out of time and had to leap blindly.

The first move took place last February -- on my Birthday! Yup, you heard me right! We moved a home, 3 businesses, 2 dogs and a cat -- 2 times in 3 months! I guess you might say my organizational skills were put to a true test.

We were locked into our 3 month lease and 2 weeks after we were there ...you guessed it ...we found a home! We set the closing schedule to coincide with the end of our new lease and we moved again in April -- for my hubby's Birthday would you believe?

I know we have gone through several challenges this year ...and this was only one of them. Yet when all is said and done ...in the "middle" of it ...it wasn't easy! Just like I tell all my new Clients: "the middle of our project is going to look worse before it gets better -- so hang in there with me!"

A friend of mine recently asked me "Julie, with everything that happened, what were your most valuable lessons learned through it all?" Good question! So I decided sharing a few of them here may hopefully assist someone out there ...you never know!

Lessons Learned:

• What may look like a catastrophe -- is really an opportunity for personal change.
  
  
• It's OK to feel sad or defeated -- just avoid staying there forever -- or you will miss the next opportunity.
  
  
• Persevere, persevere, persevere! If something is really important to you -- stick with it regardless of how crazy someone else may think you are!
  
  
• Create a vision for yourself in ALL that you do! What do you want the final picture to look like? Devout time to creating a clear intention every day and you will be amazed at what you can create!
  
  
• Write your feelings, visions, dreams and goals down! Regardless of how murky life may appear at times -- continue to journal daily.
  
  
• Focus on writing in your journal to "clear the slate" so to speak. In this manner you can create a great day in spite of all that is going on. (It's like a dear friend said to me: "You don't HAVE great days -- you CREATE them!")
  
  
• Keep a "Gratitude Journal." If you take time to focus on the good things that happen to you -- no matter how simple -- you will have less energy to focus on the negative. Avoid "censoring" the most simplistic things to be grateful for. Tune in to a glorious sunrise/sunset, the smell of a flower, the dance of raindrops... a child's giggle.
  
  
• Remember: "The only guarantee in life -- is change."
  
  
• When you are going through stressful situations -- call a buddy -- real quick! Actually, the more the merrier so long as they are not people who will support you on a "pity pot."
  
  
• The art of "letting go" will create room for new and wonderful experiences in your life -- as well as creating space to learn more about yourself.
  
  
• Document any/all communications you have with a landlord. (We ended up in court and documentation saved us literally hundreds of dollars!)

Boy was this a year for relocating or what? I normally receive about 500 E-mails per week from the website and let me tell you, there have been hundreds of requests asking me to create "Moving Tips."

Being in the midst of "moving" around myself this year, you can bet I was taking many mental notes on "Why I do, what I do," as I pack/move. You see, it's really true, after you do something for a while, it totally becomes a habit. For me packing/moving has fallen into that category. So, I had to start being really conscious of what I was doing in order to relay all the "little" things that can be of "huge" importance.

My moving talents started long ago -- often not by choice. You might say I was forced to become versed in this skill! (My first year of college I ended up moving 7 times!) I never gave my moving/packing talents too much thought until our February move came about. In a short amount of time our movers shared with me: "This is the most organized move we have ever done!"

Ohhh! The magic word -- "organized!" It was then that I shared with them what I did for a living and everyone had a great laugh! Yet, I must say, I learned some pretty valuable "tricks of the trade" from the movers that I have already applied to an office relocation Client. The "mathematics" of moving totally amazed and fascinated me! Something I had never questioned or really focused on before!

What has been amazing to me this year is the amount of E-mails I have received from people requesting: "What's the best way to pack? I only have 2 weeks left. HELP!" Or something of a similar "short" natured timeline.

Now folks...hear me well: Moving can be potentially extremely stressful if you:

1. fail to plan for it
2. procrastinate on packing

• under-estimate the time required to pack
• never get a FULL picture of all the "little to-do's" necessary to make a pack/move flow
• fail to have the right "tools" on hand for packing
• get overwhelmed by walking from room to room looking at all they need to pack
• over-estimate all the things they think they need on hand until the last minute

• When you know you have to move, tackle a little each day and your move will be far less hectic and stressful. Note: many people wait far too long to start packing. Before you know it, they have a week or even less to complete this HUGE task. Procrastination of the packing task will lead to items being tossed into boxes randomly at the 11th hour or items packed improperly, which can lead to potential breakage. This will also create an un-packing nightmare when you get to your new home as well.
  
  
• Immediately start acquiring boxes for your packing needs. You'll want these on hand at all times so when the urge strikes to pack -- you have what you need. Gather your boxes little by little ... and start a.s.a.p.!
  
  
• If your budget allows -- purchase "bankers boxes" at your local office store or Costco. These are the perfect size for hand trucks, carrying, lifting, and stacking uniformly -- which can save tremendous amounts of space and "runs," the movers or you will make.
  
  
• Avoid going after gargantuan size boxes. Bigger is not better! Sure, you can put a lot in them -- yet who is going to want to lift it? The heavier the box, the more prone it is to breakage. Be leery of over-stuffing big boxes with books and kitchen items. Large size boxes are acceptable for stereo, computers and TV equipment as well as items such as small, light, garden tools. (Note: when you purchase items for the home -- do whatever it takes to find storage space to keep the boxes from new TV's, stereos, computers, printers, monitors etc...each of these boxes are a perfect fit and contain special foam to contain an item safely and properly during transport.)
  
  
• Where to start?
  I have to tell you a cute story: Within 30 days of our move some dear friends of ours were also scheduled to move. We started calling each other and sharing our "packing progress" on a regular basis. It was the motivation we each needed during an incredibly busy Client load. One day when I called, I got my friend's partner and I asked how he was doing on the packing. He said, "Oh, I'm rolling pennies." "Rolling pennies?" I repeated. With that he stated that he was totally overwhelmed with all that needed to be done. When he asked his mate "Where do I start?" the response was "Just start somewhere!!!" So he started rolling pennies! The point is -- he started! Often THAT is 1/2 the battle -- as with any major task.
  
  
• I always start the packing process by looking at what I absolutely do not need in order to go on with daily life. Therefore, I normally start with the walls. Some people may differ on opinion here, because they want things to be "homey" until the very end. Bottom line -- it's going to get pretty chaotic looking and the pictures, art and knick-knacks won't be visible in a short time.
  
  
• Decide where you are going to start piling up boxes as they are packed. If you have a spare room -- break down all the furniture there first to create a space to stack boxes. In all my moving experiences, no matter how small the space...there is always one location that can be designated for this integral function.
  
  
• Avoid having boxes all over the house initially. You may end up with boxes in multiple rooms towards the end, yet in the meantime there is no reason for tripping over boxes or constantly moving them to get somewhere or at something.
  
  
• Label all boxes on 5 sides!! Most people only label a box on 1 side. What happens when someone picks up the box and reverses it and you no longer see the label of contents? Label the top cover as well -- the 5th side. This way you can view the contents from any direction. Believe me, it will save you tons of time in the long run -- especially when you are un-packing!
  
  
• Keep like things together in your packing boxes. Just because the contents all come from the linen closet does not mean "linen closet" is a good label. When you desperately want to take a shower in your new space and need a towel and keep finding "cleaning agents" or toilet paper it can get pretty frustrating.
  
  
• When packing your boxes give yourself a few key words on the outside. Labeling a box by room is OK when you are packing -- yet can be too generic when you are looking for a specific item. Also, keep in mind that your new space could be smaller and you may have one less room -- or an luckily an extra room! Label the contents. When the movers or your friends ask you in the new space: "what room" you can tell them immediately.
  
  
• A note on knick-knacks: Place all knick-knacks in boxes of their own -- regardless of the room they came from initially. When you get into your new space these will be the last things you put out. By keeping them all together you give yourself an opportunity to get creative and place things around differently.
  
  
• When packing the kitchen, single out the exact amount of dishes needed for the people in your family. Keep only that amount and pack the rest. Do the same with pots and pans. Decide which items can be used in multiple functions -- then pack the rest.
  
  
• Pack all surplus toiletries. On moving day pack the items that you, your spouse or kids will need that night or the next morning in your new space. Place them in their own separate boxes. Make sure they know where the box will be at all times. Put a pertinent message on the outside of the box (on 5 sides). The message I like is: "Julie's -- immediate use."
  
  
• Invest in packing tape and BIG FAT Sharpie markers.
  
  
• Avoid putting breakables loosely in a box -- the odds will increase in the "damage control" category for sure!
  
  
• Learn how to use an item in a different way. I normally use my bath towels, hand towels and face cloths to wrap and protect more valuable items. Great for special dishes too!
  
  
• Be careful using newspaper as a "packing medium." The ink can easily discolor or even permanently damage certain items.
  
  
• Baggies are great little moving tool for keeping small items together. They can also be used to cover "special items" prior to wrapping it with newspaper.
  
  
• As you pack, keep in mind what you absolutely need for your first 24 hours in your new home. The last thing you need is family members asking you where something is -- simultaneously!
  
  
• For those of you working out of a home office, you will find that computer and pertinent office equipment will be the very last item packed in order to maintain "business as usual." You will also find it is one of the first items setup in your new space. If you are moving to a relatively close proximity -- I highly recommend taking your business equipment in your own vehicle. Avoid leaving such an integral part of your relocation to movers or friends. For many of us -- this is the link to our livelihood!
  
  
• On the other hand, business journals, magazines and books can often be packed immediately . When it comes to the office you need to really focus on what you absolutely need -- and pack all the "nice to have" items from the get go. That goes for surplus office supplies too! You just don't need 2 dozen pens or pads laying around on moving day.
  
  
• Create a "sacred space" in your current space for items you need to get your hands on for whatever important reason. This may be a Rolodex, business appointment book, maybe a precious, non replaceable item etc... Instruct the entire family, friends assisting, movers -- anyone involved -- that no one is to touch any item in this space except for you! Go so far as leaving a sign "Please do not touch -- only Julie will move this."
  
  
• When you move into your new location unpack a little each day. It takes me an average of about 3 weeks to totally put a new space together while maintaining my Client load. Go easy on yourself and focus on doing something everyday until you are done.
  
  
• If at all possible, see if you can take 3 days off from work. This seems to be a magic number and much progress can be made in this short time. If you have kids, see if you can have friends that could free you up and baby sit for this short time.
  
  
• Avoid stacking boxes for long durations of time in "out of sight areas." I hate to tell you how many people I have seen with garages FULL of items from a move -- and they may have moved 2 years ago! Makes you wonder why you had all that stuff to begin with -- ehhhh?
  
  
• As you are going through the packing stages, make sure you have several boxes for purging and "donations" for every member of the family! This is the perfect time to purge what you no longer need, want or use. Schedule your donation pickup prior to moving! You don't need to be schlepping around this stuff and you surely don't need to waste your time packing it or paying money for someone to move it.
  
  
• I highly recommend "donating" these items and not having a tag sale. You will be busy enough with all the packing/moving details! Besides, these items are valuable tax deduction!! (Note: see the "Orders To Go" section for an outrageous book created by a CPA to assist you in taking the proper tax deductions for over 800 items!! The book is incredible!)
  
  
• Important: During our rental/home buying hunt, I thank God I had the foresight to think: "What if we don't find a place big enough?" I started segregating boxes immediately as they were packed by one further demarcation: "storage" or "movers." I figured if we got the home we had a bid on -- everything would go. If not, ...wellll, a lot would have to go into storage.
  Luckily I did this because it literally saved hours of time on our moving day! It actually took 2 days to move. On day #2 the movers emptied out an entire large room and half of our garage and brought it to a storage space for us. We even stacked the items in the storage space by usage!
  "If" we ended up renting longer than we anticipated there were many items we would have to get our hands on. The storage space was absolutely filled to the gills and we surely didn't want to have to hunt for something at the back of the unit if we needed it. My point is: be involved in the move every step of the way. Don't delegate everything to several different people. Someone needs to know where everything really is!
  
  
• My most important tip, I feel is: "Eat very well on your moving day and the first day in your new space. Treat yourself kindly!" Most people end up going to fast-food eateries or sending out for pizza, sodas and even beer. You are burning up tons of energy on moving day -- be kind to your body and give it the fuel it needs physically and mentally. They weren't kidding when they ranked "moving" in the Top 10 Stressful situations!
  (Note: I still say this is an outrageous niche for someone to create a successful business! Can you imagine a home cooked meal being served/delivered to you on moving day -- or your first day in the new space -- when your buried in boxes? I bet this can be a very lucrative business venture!! The demand is there for sure! People are constantly moving!

I hope your future moves will be as stress-less as possible and your "packing"days few and far between the years.

Amongst the many experiences and challenges I've journeyed through this year, one in particular evoked a call for personal growth and getting in touch with deeper feelings. This one was to be the most challenging ...and enlightening of all.

Just prior to our 2nd move in April, my Mom took ill. We had taken several pictures of our new home for insurance purposes and filled the remainder of the roll by meticulously going around in a full circle to capture the outrageous panoramic view. I decided to "get creative" and laid out all the pictures on a huge piece of artist paper and mailed it off to my Mom. This way she could visually share in our excitement and when I spoke with her she would have a clearer picture. Being a "Mom" she had shared in many trials and tribulations of my life's journey. At the ripe age of 72 it amazed me how she remembered all the details of stories long told.

My Mom was unable to write at this time due to the loss of usage in her right arm -- yet that didn't stop her from cornering her social worker to write a card for us. After she was done with the dictation, her social worker said: "Alright Marcelle now all you need is the stamp and then we can mail it off."

What the social worker failed to realize is something I never knew until several months later: "Stamps" were one of the biggest challenges in my Mom's whole life!

My Mom passed away in June. My bout with non-stop challenging Life lessons for the year continued. Yet ...this time ... I would discover an incredible gift of "insight" along the way on many levels.

On the Fourth of July weekend, I flew 6,000 miles to my Mom's home in Florida for her Memorial Service and to do what I could, to assist my elder sister Lois, in closing my Mom's home for an estate sale. Out of all the times I had been at Mom's home I had never snooped around her space. This time I would have to, because there were several items my sister needed to locate.

I arrived at Mom's home 36 hours prior to my sister. I slowly opened the door and was mystified by the silence within. Somewhere in me ...I still expected to hear Mom wail in delight upon my arrival. Somewhere in me ...I still expected to feel her hardy bear hug once again. Somewhere in me ...I still expected to see her and my Step-Dad sitting in their recliners...yet he had passed 10 months prior.

The silence became overwhelming. I slowly sat within the silence for a long time.

Within the silence, I felt I was trespassing in her private space. A space we had shared as often as we could over the years, when I lived on the East Coast. It was when I spoke to her in my heart, that I felt I could finally start to move slowly through the rooms of her home.

I longed to hear her voice ... just once. I settled for touching any items of her clothing that were laying on the bed. It was then, that I gave myself permission to lay on her bed... hug her pillow ...and pretend she was near. Holding me. Comforting me...through all the pain and Love the experience presented.

After hours of hardly moving within her home I remembered why I was there. There were certain items we had to find! Lois would only be here for a short time on Monday. She had many other things to tend to as "Trustee" prior to Mom's Memorial Service on Wednesday. Time was of the essence.

I started my search in Mom's bedroom for the items on my sisters list. I decided, "OK, to do this I have to think like Mom." Amazing! Within several hours I had found most of the items on the list. What I didn't expect was ...everything else I found!

Flashback:

When I was a kid growing up, my brothers and sisters had a nickname for me: "Mommy Jr." I was actually proud of the name at that time in my life -- I guess I was too naive to understand it was not a compliment!

Anyway at a ripe young age I had already ventured into the world of "organizing." With 5 kids, and 2 working parents -- there was a lot that needed to be done within the home to keep it running smoothly. One of my favorite tasks was cleaning and picking up. I found a home and place for everything! Nothing was stuffed into corners, boxes or closets when I worked my magic. Now Mom, welllll, let's just say she walked to a different drummer.

She liked things neat and orderly, yet she wasn't the greatest at putting things back where they belonged. "Excuse me? Mom ...we have a home for this -- remember?" Oooooh what a pain in the okule I must have been!

Growing up, I remember my Mom having guests over all the time. Whether it was our friends or my parent's....or unexpected arrivals. It was the unexpected arrivals that were the killer! Remember when I said my Mom liked things neat and tidy? Well, closets became a target for her tidiness! (And my Client's wonder where I learned all their secrets from?)

As I grew up and went away to college she eventually moved with my brothers 1500 miles away to Florida. I never gave it a thought that ...maybe ...just maybe ...her habits actually landed in her carry-on baggage as well. I just never gave it another thought!

During all the years that I lived on the East Coast I would go and see Mom regularly, sometimes 2-3 times a year. During almost every phone call she would mention something about "all the paperwork I have to do," yet when I visited her, in my opinion she had far more knick-knacks than paper!

Sure, there was usually 2 piles of paperwork and mail in the Living Room, another in the Kitchen and another in the Bedroom. Yet nothing to get upset about. (Ummm....errrrr....aaaaah.... Mom, have you taken a look at ALL the knick-knacks? Now there IS something to worry about! What are you ever going to do with all this "stuff!" -- I would think.)

Over the years that followed. Mom got motivated to get rid of some of her "stuff." She started feeling far more mortal and wanted to reduce what she owned. She even requested that none of the kids send her knick-knacks for any special occasions. I was amazed at her progress! She trimmed down to what she really needed or what was of real sentimental value. I remember about 10 years ago she even asked all the kids what they wanted of hers when she passed. Other than any of our special requests -- she had a "tag sale" for most of it. I was amazed at how few knick-knacks she ultimately had when I journeyed home for this last time.

As I meandered through the quietness of her home in search of all the items on my sister's list, I ended up going though drawers, closets and storage containers in every room. It was then that I realized that the certain habits, indeed, relocated to Florida!

I left all the items on my sister's list in the location I found them. After all, she was the Trustee, and I no longer needed the nickname "Mommy Jr." I just took a mental note of where each item was located. When my sister arrived the next day she vocalized her wishes: "I want no meds left in the house ...and no papers."

Gulp! That was a taller order than she realized, yet I wasn't about to say anything -- yet.

My sister and I were dealing with my Mom's death differently up until that point. I always had the greatest respect for her in the past, and even more so now with all she had done over the past few years as "Trustee." It was not an easy job and had many, many, many challenging moments. She had done a phenomenal job, yet there was a softness missing when we first met the day of her arrival. The softness that had made her the "greatest" ... as the eldest child. She was rougher around the edges right then...yet I never doubted the softness was there. It had just been covered temporarily with her own pain.

Now as "Mommy Jr." I must confess I was not good at taking orders. I normally gave directives. Hearing her request to eliminate meds and papers I could easily follow through on -- yet the picture was bigger than she imagined at that moment. The plan of action was going to have to be restructured eventually because of the sheer magnitude.

I had an unfair advantage -- I knew that the job would take much longer than the 4 hours. This was the amount of time she figured the task could be accomplished prior to her arrival. She had not yet had a chance to meander through Mom's home as I did. The amazing thing is Mom had fooled us all over the years!

I figured I would switch gears here and show my sister my discoveries from the day and night before. She was amazed at all the pertinent information I did find -- yet there was a very important piece of paper still missing. I never found my Mom's request for specific music at her Memorial Service. This was my sister's mission, and I would do whatever it took to make it happen! The only problem was we would have to go through ALL of Mom's papers in the process. It wasn't going to be a matter of tossing everything out -- we would have to go through each paper...piece by piece...the same way I do with my Client's. No paper is untouched by the time I am done with my services -- none!

I started showing my sister around to the areas I had found tons of papers. I opened several boxes, bags and drawers to give her an idea of the job we had in front of us. After that, we both set out on a mission!

We each started in a different room and worked well beyond the original 4 hours. Later Lois had to run out to do some tasks for the service preparation and I joined her. We returned home a few hours later and continued to work at the sorting and purging until 9 p.m. before we called it quits together. She spoke with her hubby before leaving and asked if he could help the following day with all the tax info. I chimed in at that point: "I can do that -- I do it all the time for my Client's Lois, we can have the guys do other stuff though and "yes" we need help!"

Now, I was on a 6 hour time zone difference and instead of attempting to acclimate to EST from HST, I decided to use my internal clock to my benefit. I went out to grab a bite to eat, came home ... made a pot of coffee and grabbed another box ... and another...and another ... and another. To my amazement I found some priceless treasures along the way. I couldn't wait to share them with my sister!

By the time I realized how late it was -- I was in big trouble. I was not going to be in the best of shape to work with Lois at the appointed time the following day. She already knew we needed to put more time into the project and planned to arrive with my brother-in-law and nephew by 9 a.m. ...only problem was ...it was 5 a.m. by the time I looked at a clock!

I left a note at the door for Lois, asking her to let me sleep until 10 a.m. And then I would join her. Luckily for me they arrived later than anticipated and I was only a little behind them to dive into the day's work.

My nephew and brother-in-law were life savers! Mom had never gotten rid of my Step-Dad's clothes and now we had hers to deal with too. We donated everything to a local agency and the guys were a stupendous asset to the tasks on hand!!

I still remember my nephew saying: "Julie, You need to come and see this." I stayed up the entire night before working on papers just from my Mom's bedroom. It was now complete. My plan for the day was to move on to the next room. We had 2 more bedrooms, an office, living room and kitchen still to go -- and I was only going to be there 4 more days.

When my nephew called me over to see what he discovered ...I was totally unprepared. He found 5 more large boxes of papers, several bags of papers and 2 huge, extra long, extra wide Rubbermaid containers -- stuffed with papers! All of these items were located behind the clothes in Mom's closet! Oh my God, I thought, How could she have so much stuff -- she's my Mom -- how come I never knew??

Mom, had now become my fondest Client. The "discovery" of boxes by my nephew, brought my sister and I into the same area to complete our sorting and purging. I decided this was going to be a longer haul than I even anticipated, and decided to move everything to Mom's enclosed front porch. Might as well get some fresh air in the process. We were going to be there for the duration! Lois joined me and we plugged on together. It became a very emotional -- yet somewhat comforting experience to be doing the sorting and purging together in the same space.

During this time I decided to show Lois some of the "treasures" I found the night before. I found a few old pictures and a couple of cards and notes some of the kids had sent Mom over the years. The irony is they were mixed with junk mail, flyers, reports from Doctors and old statements. What we shared together that day was beyond words. Amidst all the clutter of papers ... my Mom had left many a buried treasure!

By late afternoon we had plunged through I don't know how many random boxes and "bags of stuff" We laughed. We cried. We shared our feelings from many years. We did it together and I will always, always treasure this time together. We found some items we needed to keep for the closing of her estate...yet we found some incredible things of priceless value along the way.

Amidst the junk mail and quickly noted "tossables" we found every card and letter my Mom had ever received from all of the kids! The key word here is: EVERY! In our efforts we also found many a card and letter my Mom had written to one of the kids -- and never sent! We grouped them by child and Lois and I decided to send everyone a "package" with messages of Love from Mom.

A while back another sister noted that Mom needed some assistance, to remember all the Birthdays, Anniversaries etc...of kids, grandkids and hubbies. She came up with a novel idea! Each year she would send Mom a calendar for the New Year with everyone's Birthday or Anniversary written in the appropriate day and month. Unfortunately, the cards still arrived late -- or not at all. I knew Mom meant well, and never held it against her in the slightest. After all, I had followed in her footsteps and had often sent a card with a belated message to family and friends -- Mom included! You see my challenge was getting to the card store on time amidst a heavy Client load. Mom's challenge was somewhat different.

During our sorting and purging process, Lois and I also found TONS of cards for every occasion! Birthdays, Belated Birthdays, New Home, New Baby, Sympathy, Get Well, Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving ...you name it ... cards every possible occasion!

I shared a huge "Ahaa" with Lois as we continued our process. You see, in all the years that we had each helped Mom out financially in varying ways, we never even thought of the obvious. Not one of us!

Mom loved us all and accepted each of us unconditionally. I knew that way back when, yet I know it now more than ever before. Her lack of cards or communications had nothing to do with "not loving." Yes, maybe her memory needed assistance with dates -- yet her heart was ALWAYS on time! The calendar was a great idea and help -- yet the obvious still never hit us.

How many of you reading this now has a parent that is getting older than you want to acknowledge? How many parents live a great distance away from you, and your only connection is a phone call away? Do you only get to see them once a year? Once every couple years? Do you still receive cards from them celebrating their Love for you? If not...let me share with you a huge insight from this experience.

I started telling you this story at the end. The card Mom had written sharing her joy in our new home and space she was thrilled we finally found to this day ... has never been found or received. The reason is ...she didn't have a stamp!

In light of all I discovered going through Mom's papers, I realize now that over the last few years especially, she didn't have many stamps at all! As she aged it became harder to get out due to her poor health. As more caregivers surrounded her, she became more immobile and got out far less. Yet I do know this: she would wheel herself to a neighbors home to chat or ask for help with something. She was cognizant and mentally strong and still a social butterfly. In retrospect I think she would have relished the fact to go to her mailbox and send a card to a friend or child -- if she only had some extra stamps.

With all the financial assistance, presents, flowers and gifts the kids sent her over the years, her most joyous gift would have probably been a "roll of stamps!" Pretty simple in retrospect! So if you are wondering what the perfect gift is for a favorite Auntie, Uncle, Grandparent, Mom or Dad this Holiday -- think about it. Think about it hard and see if you too may be missing the obvious. Would a box of all assorted cards be a great gift? What about a roll of stamps?

Actually, my hubbies Nana loved receiving "boxes" as a Christmas gift! Yup! You heard me right! You see at the ripe age of 92 when we relocated she was still making her own hand made pasta. During Holiday time she would give every one a "box" of pasta. So for her "simple shirt boxes were a real treat!

If any of you have an aging parent who may have tons of stuff around the home, I highly encourage you to see if you can spend time with them while they are still alive to assist them in going through their treasures. You may both be surprised at what you uncover and it could be the memories that most need to remembered.

I would have given anything to help my Mom out while she was still alive with all her papers had I understood the magnitude of what she knew and I never saw. It would have been a blessing to help ease her stress...ease her anxiety...and create space for her to let in something new! I do this for a living and have assisted hundreds and thousands of people -- yet I missed the one closest to me. No one is immune.

Oftentimes when I work with Client's I know their biggest dilemma is "what to keep and what to toss." There is an underlying fear of tossing the wrong item in many cases. Oftentimes I find THAT is precisely why some people save everything -- they tossed something once before and got burnt -- now they save it all.

In the meantime, it can be a paralyzing experience. My Mom knew precisely what she had stashed away, yet her home was fairly neat and I never gave it a second thought in all my visits down to see her.

My last visit to Mom's home will be something I never forget. It was a bonding experience for my sister and I that I truly treasure. I also discovered a multitude of dimensions about my Mom that I never really knew before.

I know she must have been smiling down on my sister and I being together. I know she was with me every step of the way as I became a "maniac on a mission" and stayed up until the wee hours of the night ...sorting her stuff ...and finding some little hand written treasures everyday I was there .

I also have a little chuckle going on with her in the present. Part of me is really happy that I was able to be of assistance to her one last time. As a child I would find what she stuffed in a closet and put it where it belonged. I just hope she found humor in the ...27 ...HUGE ...yard size ... trash bags that were filled and put out for pickup. Ya gotta love her!

Sending my mom the pictures of our new home so she could be a part of it from a 6,000 mile distance, was the last thing I was going to be able to do for her -- so I thought.

It was the night before I left Florida that I decided I did not want to include all her all-occasion cards in the estate sale. I decided I would make it a point to send all Mom's cards out during my lifetime -- there sure was enough of them! I decided they were not going to become part of the estate sale and discussed it with my sister. We agreed and I shipped hundreds of cards back to Maui.

You see, as I mentioned before ... I too had a problem sending cards in a timely fashion. As a business person I always have a ton of stamps on hand at all times. As a human being -- I fell short in this area due to lack of cards!

I have now had my Mom's cards for almost 5 months and I have probably sent out 50 cards in this time. It feels great to pull a card from the file immediately to send to a friend or family member! Course of all people Lois, got a "late" Anniversary card in August -- I guess some things will never change!

I am grateful to have these beautiful cards on hand. Every time I send one, I think of Mom ...and her "card legacy" lives on. In some ways it brings tremendous peace.

Thank you Lois for being a part of this experience with me and letting me share this with so many others. If there is one person our story resonates with ... well...let's hope they are equally blessed with the same opportunities you and I had to grow closer -- Thanks Mom!

I believe even more firmly than ever before, that we all have so very, very much in common. The initial picture may appear different or unlike our own. Yet, if you look closely ... and quietly... the struggles, challenges, doubts, fears, imperfections, poor timing, chaos, lack of time, lack of time for self, lack of time for others -- whom we claim as important in our life, clutter -- on a multitude of varying levels, or plain ol' abhorrence to deal with a task ...is shared by each of us regardless of profession!

As we enter the New Millennium it is my wish for each of you to give yourself permission to seek the freedom your spirit longs for. Freedom from "stuff," hectic schedules, debt, lack of time ...whatever! It is of the essence that each of us finds an approach that keeps us in harmony with our true essence and priorities as we move through Life's journey.

For this years New Year's resolution ...give yourself permission to be imperfect and make mistakes -- actually make PLENTY of them! Learn what works ...and what does not ...for you!

May this New Year be extra special for each of you. And may you create the time to design a plan that allows you to deal with what is absolutely essential to breathing in the Oneness of the quiet within on a daily basis.

Mele Kalikimaka and Hau`oli Makahiki Hou one and all!

"Unsuccessful" means nothing more than "not successful - YET." --Ernest Van Loon