| Published by: | "...Creating Order out of Chaos" |
| The PHOENIX Organizational Consulting Service Julie Signore Organizing Consultant/Procrastination Coach/Professional Speaker/Certified Teleleader Email:Sortit@Maui.Net |
PO Box 1112, Kula, Maui, Hawaii 96790 808.878.2617 Web:http://www.123sortit.com |
| Vol 6 #1 | Spring 2000 |
A Note From Julie...
Aloha and Happy Spring my friends!
"A dream is a goal without a date ...and the only limits to achievement are the bonds of one’s belief." I designed this slogan for my business a little over 6 years ago. As time went on a more definitive meaning was cultivated as I was exposed to increasing experiences with Client’s. You see, most people had seriously convinced themselves -- they would/could never become more organized!
First of all this saddened me because "never" is a HUGE word!!
I am a firm believer that "energy follows thought." I know that "never" will potentially create the environment for excuses to harvest and perpetuate. "Never" can single-handedly deprive a person from excelling. If a "never" can be used in one aspect of one’s Life -- it would easily become integrated to other areas as well. All the while creating havoc with one’s true potential in a multitude of ways!
Secondly, I can honestly say that where there is an undying will -- there is a way to learn the skills necessary to get and stay more organized. It takes focus and determination, as well as regular maintenance. Which, as you may not realize -- is 3 weeks. Yes, in 21 days anything can become a successful and positive habit.
I have lived my own Life based on striving to challenge myself, constantly aspiring to "raise the bar" and become the very best at anything I focused on as a goal. In setting goals, this too needs to be kept in check, as we do not want to become so obsessed with excelling -- that we "miss the point." Do you follow? Another words, amidst the steps to achieving a goal ...we really get to know a lot about ourself, others and Life, along the way! Often times, the goal itself -- will become totally secondary.
I have learned that with focus, concentration, determination, perseverance and an undeniable belief in oneself -- that almost anything can manifest when given this type of fertile environment!
Recently, I myself have been able to take my original slogan to an even deeper level in my personal and professional Life. "Ahaas," can happen anytime, anywhere, anyplace and in the most peculiar fashion! (More on this as the newsletter unfolds.)
Those of you who have known me for quite a while, have attended a speaking engagement, participated in a workshop or seminar ...and even those who have indulged themselves in every facet of this website, know all too well that I am deeply focused on teaching and supporting you to "Take Time For Yourself ," on a regular basis. I am a firm believer that "balance" in the spiritual, mental and physical aspect of our personal Life, as well as our professional Life is a MUST! "Time For The Self" must be created and practiced on a daily basis in order to share our true gifts with others. Or our well becomes dry!
I am a believer in the simple truths, that a sound body, mind and spirit are the vehicles that allow us to accomplish whatever we put our hearts to task on, during our lifetime journey. I believe this is how we attain the clarity to focus our vision and determination. Yet, as I reflected on all the interactions I had with Clients struggling to just maintain their responsibilities, either professionally or personally...I became aware of the "juggling act" we call LIFE! In my observations, the "juggling act" was getting in the way of far too many people realizing their true excellence. Eventually people lost sight of what was once really important. They lost sight of their innate visions, dreams and goals.
This is one of the prime reasons I became such an advocate of "Taking Time For The Self" I watched too many people (as well as myself at times) lose sight of LIFE and what it means to really LIVE! In our search for creating happiness, balance and living according to our integral value systems...we often fail to "Take The Time For Ourselves" and "tune in" to our passions. Instead we get way too busy to avoid thinking, adhere to thousands of demands to remain busy, take on responsibilities we may not be passionate about, over-extend our workloads -- sacrificing our family time along the way. And in some extreme cases ...we can even become immobile due to the confusion and chaos ...and eventually settle for inertia!
Even though Spring is right around the corner -- we are not going to address Home or Office "Spring Organizing or De-Cluttering" in this issue. Truth be known -- there are probably a 1,000 other places you can get that info (including our own Library section). Instead, we are about to journey on removing the cobwebs from our minds, hearts, and deepest beliefs about what we are/are not capable of realizing in our current lives. In this manner we will begin to get a glimmer as to "why" we would want to even consider getting other aspects of our Life in tip top shape as well!
This newsletter may unfold as you never would have expected in the "blatantly blunt department" --from moi. Yet always remember...it is my intention to remind each of us to focus and laugh at ourselves ...and some of the crazy excuses we have created along the way to perpetuate staying stuck in the status quo. As you read the experiences and stories relayed in this newsletter -- think about your personal Life...professional Life...visions...dreams...goals...any ...and ...ALL of them! No holds barred!!
It is my sincere wish, that you have an incredible eye-opening journey!!
Aloha Nui Loa!
Julie
P.S. Due to the nature of this newsletter, I have decided to forego all the normal "fun" graphics, in order for us to remain focused with the content at hand. For those of you who are ready to take a huge leap in your life it will be necessary for you to print this newsletter out, in order to complete a "home action" section at the end.
Not to worry, we’ll go back to our normal format in future issues for our entertainment!
"A Dream Is A Goal Without A Date ..."
Have you ever had a dream that gnaws away deep inside you? Have you ever held a vision of what "could" be in your Life? Is it preceded with ...."If only ....!" or "When ....?" or have you decided somewhere along the line that your dreams no longer matter?
We tell ourself in a quiet voice (on a regular basis I might add!) we are: too old; too young; too skinny; too frail; too massive; too over-weight; too sickly; too klutzy; the wrong sex; the wrong nationality; in the wrong job; living in the wrong area; know the wrong people; not creative enough; not smart enough; not good with numbers; not good with timelines; had a bad childhood; have a bad marriage; can’t stay in a relationship; there are no good men/women left; or worse of all -- we are not deserving!
We may have honorably put Life on hold ... until the kids graduate ...until we get that promotion ...or worse yet -- when we retire! Yet might I candidly ask: WHO are we really protecting? WHAT are we really afraid of? WHY are we assuming the victim role? HOW COME we feel it is an either/or option? Have we ever thought of having BOTH? WHY are we limiting the possibilities of what could feasibly be the most outrageous LIFE we ever imagined?
Example: One of my innermost dreams was to move to Maui! It was a "silent dream." A dream that I never allowed to be vocalized or put on paper! It nudged at me whenever I was in a mystical, magical outdoor setting of majestic mountains or ocean views. Yet, never, did I grant myself "permission" to pursue this dream. In retrospect I now understand it was because of the fear of where it may actually lead me! What would happen if I could LIVE my deepest,wildest dream?
I had never been to Maui before and don’t have a clue how my dream initially manifested in my soul. Yet, something inside tugged at my heart. The same something I denied for years until I had the opportunity to go to Maui on business. My Life was never the same after the first 24 hours on this incredible island of magic!
Within a short time of being on island, my hubby and I both expressed simultaneously one day: "I could live here! You could? So could I !!" It was our moment of truth! Upon returning from our trip 12 days later, we told our family and friends we were moving to Maui. We received the expected: "Yeah -- right! OK. So what else is new in your lives?" comments in return.
Within 2 months of receiving a wealth of disbelieving comments from well-meaning family and friends, I realized we had never set a date! It was then that I turned to my hubby and announced: "A dream is a goal without a date! If we don’t set a date on our move -- we will be wishing and dreaming of moving to Maui for the rest of our lives!"
We agreed on one last Fall Season of living in New England, because it was our favorite time of year. In the interim we sold what we no longer needed. Purged tons of areas within our lives from the prior 18 months when we "merged our stuff" and got married, and packed a 40 foot container to ship our remaining belongings. Six months later -- we were living in Paradise -- 6,000 miles away -- all because we set a date to our dream!
That was 9+ years ago and we have never regretted our decision. It took a lot of hard work to establish ourselves on island and setup 2 businesses. We persevered and never had a doubt in our minds that we were finally "home." Regardless of how taxing our financial means were for the first several years, we stuck it through and held tight to our vision of what could be if we had the guts to stick it out. The rest is history.
Recently last summer, we learned that my husbands family had "bets going" on how long we would stay out here. Quite baffled... yet amused, we asked "Who won?" The response was: The last one of us lost 6 years ago!
Against all odds we survived numerous people telling us we were absolutely crazy giving up stability for a whim! Not to mention some people kept reminding us of our age and how tough it would be to start all over! We held fast to our dream and then chose to surround ourselves with truly wonderful people who believed in us ...and would help support us in our dream on the challenging days and years that lay ahead.
A HUGE ingredient to success on any level, IS to surround yourself with positive people. Sad to say, you must avoid negative people at all odds, who may articulate things in ridicule of your dream or goal. Understand that this is often perpetuated so they can feel better about themselves for remaining in an environment that supports their own excuses for not moving forward in Life! The bottom line is others may secretly wish, they too ... could do what you have the courage to take on. Often others are overwhelmed with fear, which will sadly keep them motionless.
I adamantly believe in reaching out and assisting others in a supportive manner. I believe in presenting options or suggestions (not advice!) that I may see more clearly as an outsider in my consulting -- or my friendships for that matter. These suggestions may have the potential to create avenues for others to create the mobilization to reach for their own personal visions, dreams and goals. What I will not do, is enable a Client, friend or loved one to linger in a space ... that supports remaining stuck with excuse ...after excuse ...after excuse without calling someone on their stuff in a loving nature.
The next step is up to them. We all have choices and that is what makes Life so much FUN. If we don’t like the way things are going -- welllll, repeating the same action surely is not the answer! People can choose to move forward with assistance and support ...or go back to the way it’s always been. Mediocrity is not the road to transforming one’s Life! Mediocrity is the means to remaining in one’s comfort zone.
You see, dreams are truly the most intrinsic goal we have to build our lives with in any manner we desire. Yet, many people often fail to vocalize their dreams or worse yet -- put them on paper. Sometimes we rationalize "...if it’s not in writing no one can hold me accountable" ...including MYSELF! Far too often we may opt for an easier path out ...and ultimately live with our passionate dreams d-e-e-p within the confines of our heart, mind and soul. The only thing is, on a sub-conscious level, this will inevitably torment us for the rest of our days.
Now here is the catch: we need to decide "truthfully" if a particular vision, dream or goal is no longer a desire for our own reasons...not because someone tells us we lost a few screws or we are living in a fantasy world.
Case in point: A several months back I was involved with a group of couples who met on a monthly basis. The purpose of the group was to take Great relationships and create Awesome relationships. It was a very healthy and supportive involvement. Being surrounded by like-minded men and women going for the best in their Life and relationships -- together-- was a very healthy place for me to be.
On one particular occasion, a gentleman (whom I will call "Joe"), reached a pivotal point with his girlfriend (whom I’ll call "Sally.") Joe got down and dirty honest with himself one month and realized he strongly desired to setup his own business. As a matter of fact, Joe had a dream as a child of doing this very thing!
Sally had a need for "financial stability." Sally gave Joe 6 months to make a go of his new business. Within that time he needed to be, not only flowing in the "black" -- she also anticipated a wealth of income. The 6 months came and went and neither scenario happened. This started to wreak havoc in their relationship -- so Joe folded up his business and got a job working for someone else to appease Sally’s need for financial stability in their relationship.
One evening a few months later, Joe expressed he was totally miserable working for someone else and disclosed the fact that he had to pursue his dream of owning his own business. (He has a novel idea too, I might add!) He was aware of the fact that it may take time, yet he believed with all of his heart and soul, that he could make it happen! On the other hand, if he pursued -- he may also be risking "the relationship" because of their individual needs.
The bottom line is Joe had a dream that he could feel, smell and taste! He learned he had invalidated his deepest core beliefs to make someone else happy in the process. He quickly came to the reality that although he deeply loved Sally -- he HAD to live authentically with himself first. They are now on the road to meeting each other 1/2 way instead of an "all or nothing" setup.
Joe was very fortunate in taking the time to feel and become totally honest with himself in such a short time. You see, most people will bury their visions, dreams and goals for years and even lifetimes ...and live a Life of "I wonder what would have happened if...?"
Some of you reading this may immediately think: "That is selfish!" Yet I ask you ...if you cannot be honest with yourself first -- are you truly capable of being totally honest with anyone else in your Life?
In my humble opinion ... understanding, acknowledging and assisting others is necessary throughout our lives on many levels. Yet, what we must take a hard look at is: "...In meeting someone else's needs, are we betraying our true self in the process?"
You see, most of us start "learning how to please" early in our lives as young kids. From there it may perpetuate and escalate in unhealthy ways...and before you know it... THIS is precisely how we learn to feel we don’t deserve to follow our dreams! Unfortunately, it carries over into a wealth of areas in our lives....and the pattern is set in motion.
We now become our best excuses -- quite unintentionally. Not only that...our kids learn by what they see...not with what we say...as we well know. We have created generations of believers who have hypothesized they don’t deserve to follow their dreams!
I implore you now to write in your journal today ...or tomorrow ... at the latest!
Write 1 to 3 of your most private dreams. Put it to paper and see what happens. This is step #1. No need to write anything else at this time. Just start by giving yourself a quiet space to focus on you...quiet the mind...and dream -- really dream! What are the possibilities you would wish for -- if the magic genie suddenly appeared today? Are you ready for your 3 deepest dreams to come true? Do you even have an inkling of what they are anymore? Grant yourself permission to search the depth of your soul for the answers. Trust me -- the answers ARE there!
I will give you more missing pieces of the puzzle as the rest of this newsletter unfolds. The Action necessary in making your dreams become a reality will be up entirely up to you. It’s all a matter of choice! If you are ready to make a true conscious choice, you will notice the excuses will no longer work my friends.
Think about it for a minute. When was the last time you told yourself "I can’t do ....!" or "It’s impossible for me to ..." or "I’ve always been ..." Well, you are not alone! I never really realized one of my biggest "It’s impossible for me to ..." until 11 weeks ago. (I’ll clue you in on what it was later! Hint: notice I said "was" not "is"). <smile>
Now stop for a moment and really give it some thought. Can you even begin to fathom all the self-imposed limitations and excuses we have created, in order NOT to achieve something? I once heard: "Failure is easy -- anyone can do it!" I’d like to add in: So are excuses!
The reason "why" we are unable to accomplish something or achieve a particular goal is because our excuses flow out of the woodwork on demand! Yet, if we give ourself 10 minutes to deliberate over why or how we CAN accomplish something -- it’s an overwhelming task! Truth be known, when given the same 10 minutes to "brain dump" on why we CAN’T achieve something ...the reasons run rapid, like wild fire, and will totally out shadow the reasons why we CAN do something!!
Case in point: Two years ago a dear friend sent me an email and told me about this remarkable video she sent away for -- FREE! She prepped me by stating: "Just get through the first 15- 20 minutes -- the next 100 minutes are really worth it!
I trust Jeanna implicitly and knowing that we are both on the same path to push our limits in a balanced state to create the best Life possible, I took her up on her offer and called the 800 number for my FREE video. No pressure. No hype. I was asked in a very professional manner for my name and address and bid a fond goodbye and told "your free video will arrive in a couple of weeks."
About 3 weeks later my video arrived. As I opened it, a tiny 4 x 7 card from the producer of the movie fell to my lap. It read: Dear Friend... and proclaimed a guarantee that I would be inspired and absolutely enjoy the video! It went on to state: If I felt I received something of value ...the producer’s only request was that I send $15 to Make-A-Wish. It continued to read:
"...If the initial support we’ve received from the people who have watched this video continues, we’ll hit our goal of raising $100,000 for Make-A-Wish Foundation, which will help this very noble charity make dreams come true for children who don’t have the gift most of us take for granted -- health."
I watched the video and was filled with emotion on the possibility of what could be! I sent in much more than the original request of $15 because I had received so much value from the 120 minutes. I have since shared the video with numerous people who eventually called the 800 number to get their own copy. I watched my video again. I cried. I talked about the video to more friends. I wondered. I watched the video again. I dreamed. I watched the video again. I thought. Then I placed the producers postcard on my bulletin board in clear view of my desk, where I would glance at it every now and then.
To my surprise, I received a personal thank you note for my donation from the producer along with a T-shirt. I LOVE a good T-shirt and this one said it all! A few weeks later I received another correspondence. This time I was asked: "Do you want more information?" I filled out the postcard. A few weeks later my "more information" turned into a 350 page book -- no strings attached! The gentlemen’s concept was: "...Most companies send you a brochure when you request "more information" -- I wanted to send you something you could really use!"
A month went by and I received another mailing! This time I received a free copy of his most current magazine, with an opportunity to try 3 more issues for FREE -- until I decided I liked it! This was all waaaaay too much for me to fathom!
A top businessman sending me a video, T-shirt, book, and now a 3 month free subscription??? And never once did he sell or trade my name to "similar" companies. I was really amazed! Yet, in the meantime, all that I received from the video I placed deep within my spirit. I was thrilled for all the other people who were able to make a change for the better, yet I knew some of the personal challenges I had in this category since I was 17 ...and I wrote myself off as a "possibility."
This all took place about 2 years ago. And the producers card started to yellow in clear view on my bulletin board. "...The only limits to achievement are the bonds of one’s belief!" H-e-l-l-o Julie-- anybody home?? Yikes! I finally realized that even though I designed this slogan for my business ... I chose to disqualify myself from the potential of sharing the experiences the video relayed!! I had tuned in to my share of "excuses."
I reckoned with the fact that I had, in deed, created a belief system based on past experiences, thereby limiting my present in this particular regard. I allowed these past experiences to weigh significantly against me from achieving this goal after numerous and varied failed attempts. I desperately wanted to join in -- I just had to move beyond my "beliefs" in order to reach a new level of achievement in this venue.
Many of us do this a lot. We become oblivious to the "mind screening" that goes on...the inner chatter which dictates what we can and cannot achieve. You see, most of us excel at many things. Hence, we stack our achievements alongside what we choose not to address. We then turn this into validating "it’s OK," to let the smaller side of the tally sheet slide. NOT!
Instead of constantly moving forward...in a wealth of varied ...and often very selective circumstances ...we need to become open to ALL possibilities. Yes, I can hear the "excuses" that may come to mind immediately (remember -- I was there too!) :
".... I have tried this so many times before and failed!"
or
" ...I gave it my best shot and it just never happened!"
or
"...I made 12 attempts so far -- it’s just not in my deck of cards!"
My question to you is: "What would you do if ...on your 13th or your 39th attempt ...you knew you would succeed?" Would it make a difference? There are no guarantees. You know that! Yet, what can you learn about yourself along the way to achieving a vision, dream or goal -- even if it takes 1,000 attempts?
I was once told by a very wise person long ago, to learn to appreciate every "NO" I got in Life ..for each "NO" I exposed myself to would eventually bring me closer to that "YES!" A similar instance that comes to mind is Jack Canfield and his "Chicken Soup" series. Do you have any idea how many times he was rejected? I believe it was around 160 times! Talk about an undying vision -- this man had it! And you can be sure that there are many publishers and agents kicking themselves in the okule (behind) today!
The "video story" I have shared with you is no different. It is another wonderful example of going after your vision, dreams and goals with all the PASSION of LIFE!! It is one man’s vision to make this world a healthier place for people, in every regard. His name? Bill Phillips. The video: "Body of Work" The total donations made by thousands of people for whom his "FREE" video has made a difference? Wellllll, at last count Bill has raised more than $2.2 million dollars for Make-A-Wish! His latest book has been on the New York Best Sellers List for quite some time: "Body For Life" One month ago they sold their millionth copy and all proceeds from the book also go to Make-A-Wish!
Bill’s new goal? To provide the support and How To’s for 1,000,000 people to transform their body, mind and spirit by December 31, 2001!!
Are you up for the Challenge? If so you too can call for your FREE video at: 800-297-9776 or feel free to visit his website at: http://www.bodyforlife.com. By the way: in case you are wondering, I get no financial reward for passing this information on. Yet, I do get a reward...it’s internal ...and it’s sheer joy! You see I know there will be "someone" reading this article for whom this video will create the momentum for them to make a huge difference in their own Life -- on a multitude of levels.
I finally accepted Bill’s Challenge and started my own "Challenge 2000" on January 31, 2000. I am going for this goal to transform my body...mind and spirit with all the gusto I have lived my Life! I may or may not be a "winner" in Bill’s contest -- yet deep in my soul I am a winner for giving it all I have...going the distance for 12 weeks ...and discovering a new me on a deeper level along the way. (Yet, I can tell you after doing the Challenge for 11 weeks -- it’s a way of LIFE!)
I chose in to Bill’s "Challenge" because I have been what is considered a "weeny" all my Life. I have explored numerous methodologies for building lean muscle to no avail. After severely injuring myself when I was 17, I continued to pay high prices for my health along the way. From past experiences, I even injured myself attempting to strengthen myself ...and THAT is the belief I held onto for many years after. THAT is the reason Bill’s 4 x 7 card hung on my bulletin board for 2 years! Until I really GOT "...The only limits to achievement are the bonds of one’s belief!" Now I prefer to refer to the Challenge... as the most powerful "experiential program" I have ever been enrolled in.
As I enter the next decades of my Life -- I want -- no I NEED -- to know that my body will continue to provide the energy for me to do what I am destined to do! In the past, I often had people compliment me ... and even envy my (seemingly) strong and demure stature. Truth be known...it was a body riddled with pain. I learned over the years to move through the pain to get where I wanted to go.....even if by night time I had thoroughly and consistently exhausted myself. I wasn’t about to let "the body" preside over what I could or could not achieve.
In hindsight though...I did! I created my own limits because of what I believed was NOT possible for me. I dreamed of a body that would support the wildest dreams and goals I could conceive ...and now I have the means!
Step 2 For Your Journal:
OK. Here we go gang....it’s going to be necessary for you to go to that quiet space that each of us possesses. Uhhh-Ohhh, I can hear it now: "...I don’t have time for this!" or "...This is silly!" and "...What on earth has all this got to do with Being More Organized?"
Oh! GREAT question! Glad you asked!!
Actually, I approach organization in a holistic manner. I am unable to deal with an office ...unless I incorporate the human being and personality who resides in that space. I am unable to teach you how to make time for all the priorities and urgencies in your personal or professional Life ...until I can teach you to "Take Time For Yourself." I am unable to coach a Client on forging forward to their visions, dreams and goals ...unless I can get them to sit down long enough to first connect with them internally! Believe me -- exercises in your journal have EVERY bit to do with leading a more effective, productive, passionate and organized LIFE! <BIG Smile>
Sooooo ....it is my job to remind you, that if you are feeling resistance, it’s quite possible that it is really just more excuses popping up my friends! The same excuses that rise to the occasion to assist us in potentially remaining numb and often motionless in Life. The same excuses that support us in not allowing to feel d-e-e-p-l-y...or dream...or even live LIFE to its greatest capacity. I implore you...take the time to go into that quiet space so many of us may avoid -- you CAN do it!!! It is a matter of choice -- and there lies all the difference in the world!
OK. We need to tune in on some of the "limits" we may have created over time. If you are open, willing and ready to make headway in discovering some unconscious limits you may have placed on yourself over the years.... I highly recommend you perform this exercise in your journal. Why? Because being human beings, we have a tendency to "censor" answers if we just "think them" in our mind. We avoid the "depth" necessary as a safety precaution. Often times this tried and true technique of "thinking" the response, is the same mechanism that supports "living in a comfort zone."
So... are you with me??? I promise...you won’t regret it if you "choose in" on this exercise!
Here we go:
Being Open To The Possibilities...
The last portion of this newsletter may not be for everyone. You must be strongly committed to seeking the missing links regarding the "Why" and "Why not" in your Life. This section is only meant for the strong of mind and determined of spirit.
About 3 years ago I learned an incredible technique that I utilize in my speaking engagements with Client’s that have experienced my presentations in the past. The reason? I need them to trust me with the process. I have found that the technique I will outline for you, requires time....stamina...and gut wrenching honesty. It’s a technique, that when truthfully executed, can create the mobilization for changing or re-inventing yourself to incredible degrees ...and moving forward with passion in your Life!
For best results I highly recommend that you do NOT proceed in reading this material until you can block off 90 minutes of your valuable time. A time when you will not be interrupted. A time when you can get to a quiet space and be fully focused in the process.
If you are willing to venture into this unknown territory -- download this newsletter now to your hard drive and set a date and time on your Daily Scheduler when you will complete this exercise. On this day you will promise yourself to take the uninterrupted time necessary, to take a huge leap forward in your Life. Remember...for the best, most incredible results:
DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT UNTIL YOU HAVE BLOCKED OFF 90 MINUTES OF TIME FOR YOURSELF -- UNINTERRUPTED!!
DO NOT ATTEMPT DOING "PART" OF THE EXERCISE NOW ...AND PART LATER.
ONCE YOU COMMENCE -- I HIGHLY RECOMMEND GOING THE FULL DISTANCE!
AVOID JUMPING AROUND FROM QUESTION TO QUESTION...AND WHEN YOU START -- PROCEED IN THE ORDER THEY APPEAR.
Welcome to an incredible journey! I applaud your greatness in venturing into the unknown of the following exercise. A place where many people often deny...avoid...and even fear.
One of my favorite quotes comes from James Redfield’s book: The Secrets of Shambala. It states: "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone!" My friends, I encourage each and everyone of you to enter a somewhat perplexing and maybe even uncomfortable part of your lives right now. I am suggesting you move outside of your comfort zone in search of the answers to so many questions ...that are already within you.
Sentence Stems:
Sentence stems are subtle yet powerful. They provide a unique freedom in one’s self-discovery. To name a few uses, sentence stems provide a means to unravel, explore and become more aware of our hidden agendas, programs, taboos, motivational factors, belief systems, skills, values, dreams, and goals.
Often this leads to discovering ways that you may be currently repressing or sabotaging some of your most important personal and professional dreams, visions and goals.
In essence, sentence stems are used to show people how much they know, that they don’t think they know.
For each sentence stem, please write 10 completions as rapidly as you can. Then proceed to the next stem as swiftly as you can. Avoid deliberating over the "right answer." Understand there is no "wrong" answer. What I need from you, is a commitment to yourself -- to set aside 90, full, uninterrupted minutes, in order to complete your sentence stems.
You may falter after 3 or 4 answers, feeling totally convinced that you have no more completions to the statements within you. Yet, if you persevere, you will discover that you have much more to say than you initially may have thought or felt. Perseverance is essential. It is only natural that you may come up against barriers that will need to be broken through and resistances to overcome.
You want to keep your sentence stems responses as short and simple and as easy to say as possible. You don’t want to start writing in paragraphs, because you will lose momentum. The piling up of words becomes an explanation and explanations eventually become defenses and defenses are excuses.
Write whatever comes to your mind freely and spontaneously without worrying about the literal truth or falsehood of a particular sentence, censorship or self-criticism.
An example of a sentence stem is:
I am a person who...
1) I am a person who...is deep
2) I am a person who...has a vast array of emotional feelings
3) I am a person who...has a great capacity to love
4) I am a person who...has high expectations of myself
5) I am a person who...is insecure in some areas of my being
6) I am a person who...does not have a lot of close friends
7) I am a person who...values true friends
8) I am a person who...is sometimes fearful when I do succeed
9) I am a person who...pretends I can’t be hurt
10) I am a person who...expects honesty from people
The easiest way to move though your sentence stems is to constantly repeat the original stem. In the case above you would say: "I am a person who ..." "I am a person who ..." "I am a person who ..." until you reach the last stem.
Are you ready?
SESSION 1:
#1. When I attempt to talk about things that are important to me....
____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
#2. When I attempt to express my feelings...
#3. If I were open about expressing my feelings and opinions....
#4. Sometimes I become blocked when ...
#5. If I didn’t have to worry about being responsible...
#6. One of the ways I make it difficult for people to support me...
#7. I am beginning to feel...
#8. One of the things I wish I could do with my Life is...
#9. I wish I had more time...
#10. If I could step back in time to 1990 I would...
#11. One of the past goals I had...
#12. Dreams to me...
#13. I am becoming aware...
STOP!! DO NOT CONTINUE FOR ONE FULL WEEK!
SESSION 2:
#1. Ever since I was a child I dreamt of...
#2. If the child in me could speak...he/she might say...
#3. If I could be sure no one would laugh at me...
#4. I am starting to feel...
#5. One of the ways my happiness comes out...
#6. Goals to me are...
#7. One of the things I wish people knew about me...
#8. Something that scares me to death is...
#9. If I were willing to be more vulnerable...
#10. All my Life...
#11. It isn’t easy for me to admit...
#12. I have "written myself off" from...
#13. I am becoming aware...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
WOW!! What you have just completed -- few people even venture to think about!! You have truly accomplished a huge feat! I hope you learned much about your self in the process of this journey. Hopefully, you too, now have a deeper meaning for: "A dream is a goal without a date ...and the only limits to achievement are the bonds of one’s belief!"
When you have reached this point, go back through all your answers and closely take a look at responses 7 -10. You will find that the real underlying truth lies within these areas.
You see, far too often in Life we only skim the surface -- which is what answers 1-3 truly are -- only the surface. "The surface" becomes such a habit we use it daily without even realizing it. One of the best examples is when someone asks: "How are you doing?" The most common response is "Fine!" I wonder what would happen if we, as the inquirer REALLY wanted to know ...and how Life would be dramatically different if we the responder REALLY answered with the truth?
I invite anyone who has taken the journey of "Taking Time For Yourself" in the above exercise to either privately email me or post a question in the Business BBS of this website for discussion!
I applaud your GREATNESS and look forward to further conversations with each of you!
Aloha Nui Loa,
Julie
I first learned of these 2 sayings from my Mom who passed away June 1999...God bless her! She sent me 2 magnetic plaques over 15 years ago in one of her "CARING Packages" to me. They are chipped, faded and have been glued back together (I can be quite a klutz at times too!)
They are the only magnets that reside on my refrigerator and are a constant reminder and tribute to LIFE ...and LIVING FULLY. Hope you enjoy them!
"It’s not what you are that holds you back ...it’s what you think you are not!" -- Unknown
"I know I’m good...cuz God don’t make junk!" -- Unknown