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Posted by Julie Signore on October 06, 2001 at 13:44:56: In Reply to: Aussie PFO? posted by Polite on October 03, 2001 at 07:10:47: Aloha *Polite*.... << <<< Anyway, my query is: what do I do, when my mother-in-law whom I dearly love, (and have no wish to upset) keeps insisting on giving me hand me down furniture, crockery etc etc, even though we've already got heaps from wedding pressies?! Actually, "honesty is the best policy" here as well. There are more gentile ways of saying no thank you that will not offend anyone. Another thing you can do is tell her you really appreciate her kind thoughts...yet you have no space...& suggest to her that she gives it to someone less fortunate. Normally when people are unable to make a decision to let go ...they feel more comfortable passing it on. This is a good sign, yet by zeroing in on giving the items to someione that will definitely make use of them can be an emotional incentive to find them a REAL home....with someone else in need. <<<< I've got my own ideas as to the styles I like, and would like to start a fresh - ## As I said above...it is imperative that you start your relationship w/your mother-in-law on an honest note. It will only get worse as years go on if you keep taking in her items to avoid being honest about your own taste & needs. Also...can hubby assist??? Maybe he knows a way for his mom to hear both of your pleas ...& above all let her know you appreciate her gestures of love! <<< I'm also trying to get rid of some wedding pressies clutter - how do i do that without offending the people who gave these to us? ## First of all are they people that will be at your house on a regular basis???If not many newly married women will track down where the item was purchased & exchange it for something they can use-- ESPECIALLY if it's a duplicate to something you already have! If anyone questions you...just thank them for their intention..& once again ...BE HONEST...having 3 of the same item & keeping them all so as not to hurt anyone's feelings is not a healthy approach. When you exchage the gift...let them know what you were able to get *on their behalf* You would be surprised how many people are thrilled you found something you COULD use! If you cannot exchange the gift...another thing you can do is use it at Christmas time or even another gift giving occassion you have to go to. Personally, when i got nmarried I ended up w/an excess of items that lasted me for years in the *re-circulation* process of gift giving. What you need to remember is to kee the giving in motion...the Universal Laws are designed as such :) BTW: I was *never* questioned by anyone about a gift that I gave to someone else. If you are *not* using it & taking up space...that is the biggest crime of all...their generosity truly becomes a total waste if it sits w/you-- unused! Julie Signore -
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